Me - 36 - whooppee! Blah!
This is me, the unhappy 11 year old that started her first period. "Girl, you'll be a woman soon." I'm not happy AT ALL! I did not like wearing boats in my panties. Nor did I agree with blood and pain. That being said, voila! ME!
Believe it or not... (Not a Ripley's Believe it or not... but an interesting Believe it or not) I was once a WE!!
For 17 years my name was a 4 syllable word, instead of two! "Sonya/Tonya come here." "Sonya/Tonya where are you?" "Sonya/Tonya go to bed."
LMAO!! We were nightmares and we paid that price!
Awwww.... yes, I am being punished with the old, leather belt we feared so much. It's not so bad... My mom birthed "we" when she was 16. Lots of learning and growing to do for all of us at that point. Nonetheless, I am not a supporter of coporate punishment. But this post is about ME! Not punishments or politics or whatever! Moving on.... "we" had our rewards too!
Anyway, "we" have become "I". Becuase "I" lost the part that unified me as a "we" when she was ran over at 17. I went crazy!! I screamed, I cried, I pouted, I digressed, I rebelled, I ran in circles chasing habits and looking for love in ALL the wrong places. Finally, I freed myself from my shame and rage. I gave myself permission to live without "we". I said my goodbyes to "us" and freed myself to find "ME"!
I found a gyspy, a hippie, a crazy, perfectly loving and giving, insanely and corruptively institutional, shack lovin, wish I was on a beach dreamin, come over and play or get the fuck away - ME!
I am too kind to ever make an apology for who I am. I am too giving to care if you are pissed at my honesty and offensive language. I guess I am just too in love with ME to care... PERIOD! You see it is easy for me to love myself. It is easy because I love myself for "we". If Sonya/Tonya still existed, she would love me and I would love her unconditionally, givingly, sacrificingly, and wholeheartedly. Now I give all of this to ME because she still, in so many ways, lives through me! Ok, enough about ME, ME, ME! Love to any who read and follow. Peace to all that decide to move on!
This post was inspired by Betsy Crum, "Becko". A true, honest, loving, intelligent, ACCEPTING and hell of a haaaawwwwwwt, gypsy! http://www.artwentyspot.blogspot.com/ Her website will be up soon if you like every form of art from serene to wtf!!! http://www.artwentyspot.com/ be patient with the arteeeeest as she finishes her site!
Cheers Becko - my thelma, my "we"!
