Butterflies and 2009

I once held a butterfly within my palm. It was encased in sterling silver and wrapped itself around my finger with a gentle reminder of love shared and lost. That ring was removed by me and delivered into the hands of another that I believed in. It flew over the plains and mountains to land in another world. I will never see it again. It was precious to me.

I would look at this ring and remember my twin. She and I used to give butterflys to my grandmother on every holiday. Like then, I decided to give this ring as a gift to another I love. In return, they gave me words in the form of bullets. I wonder if they ever wish they had never pulled the trigger. I wonder if their material based morals will ever change to realize the damage caused.

I've lived my life according to my own bleiefs since my husband's passing. I continue to live much a kin to a hippie, slightly like a gypsy, and always striving to be free. 2009 is a year I eagerly say goodbye to. I learned lessons long over due for a 37 year old in these last 12 months. I learned I was easily replaced, that we are never as significant to others as we believe. I learned to forgive myself for my mistakes, because I made a lot of them this year, to forgive others for their mistakes, but, most of all, I learned to never give away my wings.